12 February 2019, Tuesday
Greetings from our family to yours and Welcome to another TrailMagick89 missive,
I declare on this day to the world that Epilepsy, Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures, Neuropathy, and Arthritis will not control, manipulate, or dictate any part of my life. I will do…everything. Sam Wilson when talking to Nick Fury said, and I’m paraphrasing, “I do everything he does just slower”. Well, I do everything normal people do just slower.
Talking about my personal Epilepsy, P-NES, and the other health issues is not something I do well. I have started to attend Celebrate Recovery and even in that setting I have trouble sharing with people. These diseases scare the living crap out of me. Being scared is not something I do well. It is one of the emotions I have shut off. You may wonder how I shut off an emotion like Mister Data.
Shutting off any emotion is something I have to practice everyday. My sisters and brothers with these diseases can tell you that emotions are amplified because of these diseases, so there is a controlling factor that each of us must exercise just like a Vulcan. (Wow, three entertainment plugs and the post is far from over.) I am one of the minority of people that choose not to take medicine for his illnesses.
The reasons behind my decision not to take the drugs… Oops. Sorry. Medicine not drugs even though they are drugs. The side effects cause the same issues that they treat. The cure is worse than the disease. Just watch any commercial out there.
Well, with having Epilepsy and PNES there are no known medicines out there that treat both kinds of seizures from both of these diseases not even Cannabis. Which I am allergic to CBD and THC, “Yah Me!”
Yes, you read that right I am allergic to weed. That pretty much means if I am near it my body reacts to it just like everyone else, the difference is if I don’t get my allergy medicine in me, my throat starts to close and 911 is called. And yes I have an Epi-Pen. I’m also allergic to most metals, stinging insects, a variety of other medicines including Benadryl which the side effects are nasty.
If you have read any of my Thursday posts my life is all about being outdoors. And getting back to nature. One of the coaches from Celebrate Recovery would say I am deflecting. I’m talking about what is going on but I’m not. And that is a truth. You see I am and always will be a Jesus Freak God Follower. Yeah, yeah I didn’t say Christian. I honestly have serious issues with modern Christianity and the Christians that follow the beliefs of the same along with the modern Christian religion.
I believe we are all perfectly made and I will get into that in a few more weeks on the odd Tuesdays of each month after the current series is finished. Since, I am perfectly made, God made me knowing full well that I would have each and every health issue I have.
So you see yes I have Epilepsy and Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures which from them I have six different kinds of seizures, I also have osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis with skin lesions and bone spurs, I have peripheral neuropathy that makes it damn near impossible to walk, type, write, sleep, sit, stand, lay down without pain and the ever present tingling as well.
However, I am perfectly made in my Creator’s image, and I love Him. Everything that goes on in my life is for His glory. I am not being pompous in the statement meaning that I am doing it. He stated that all things work for his glory not ours. I can only share my life with others and worship Him.
So as you have guessed it; I do struggle with my life, though in my struggle I lean on Him to better get to know him. I read a statement the other day that said, “God will not give us anymore than we can handle”. That statement was and is and will forever be a lie. God will and does give us more than we can handle. Otherwise what would be the point of His existence. When we face those challenges it forces us to lean on Him. And I lean on Him everyday.
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